Your lying in bed bored, horny, playing with your dick that is getting harder by the second. What to do ? Years ago I would have just started to fantasize, beaten off, shot a big load and passed out. Then I had to discover Scruff and Grindr. From that point on I would reach for my cell phone and try and find myself a “sex date.” (That is until Aaron.) Sounds easy. But in reality is it ever that easy?
First, sad to say I probably spent 10 times longer looking for sex then ever having it. Yes, its true. I bet it is for most people. I was on and off Grindr and Scruff for about 3 years. I bet if I had spent that time working I could have doubled my income for each of those years. If I was lucky to connect with someone soon enough the big question would arise. Do you travel? No matter what, my answer was always the same, no, I host.
I have always been an early riser due to my work. Most of my hookups would usually take place later in the evening. If it was up to me I would have preferred to hookup in the afternoon. To me it makes much more sense. We could fuck around all afternoon and early evening and be fresh for work in the morning. Or I could at least. I have the feeling that most of my hookups did not have jobs or at least day jobs.
Now, I don’t care how horny I was or how hard my dick was nothing is going to get me up and out of the house that late in the evening. Maybe if I had the a guarantee it was going to be great sex or he was going to be the most gorgeous man I would ever meet I might be coaxed out to get a subway or a taxi. I would not be very happy to arrive at my dates house and find they had not been forthcoming about their looks. Nothing would get me more pissed off. It would have been bad enough that I had wasted all that time looking for some sex but worse that I had spent probably another hour at least getting my sorry ass out of bed, dressed and into the city night,
I must say in defense of everyone I have met online they have all been pretty honest about their looks. Funnily enough I did have a guy come to my place once, take one look at me turn around and leave. He didn’t even want a glass of water. I gave him credit for being honest and just getting out of my place as soon as he could. In my defence he knew before he came exactly what I looked like. Go figure.
New York City is not that large an area only large in people. I lived in Manhattan. I lived there for about 20 years and in all that time came to know very little of it except for the area I lived. The best parts of the city were all around me and there was no reason to leave my comfort zone especially late evenings as I was useless when it came to using Mapquest or any other app that would help me get to where I was going. Also if I had no idea where I was going what kind of neighborhood was I going to find when I got there? What kind of place was my date going to live in? Would his home be clean? What kind of person was my date going to be? Okay I am a little paranoid and was he going to drug me, kill me or put me in a cage. At least at my place I knew where the weapons were.
I have never said I’m not fucked up. I’m a little bit OCD or a lot, a bit anal and also when it comes to hooking up I like to feel a bit in control not of the the other person but the environment That is why I host. I feel it is the lesser of two evils when hooking up with a stranger I also want to say that despite all of my precautions and phobias I have probably only had one or two bad experiences but all it takes is one. I would also prefer hosting a dinner party than a stranger for sex.The dinner party is a whole lot easier.
Okay, I can finally put my dick away I got someone coming over after I don’t know how many back and forths. First on my do to list is put the small valuables away somewhere safe, that includes jewelry, charge cards, bank cards, passport etc. I had a small safe in my storage locker in my building but I was usually to lazy to take the things to the locker so I would usually hide the valuables somewhere in the kitchen, sometimes in the freezer or under the sink where the cleaning supplies were.
Next on my to do list. In order to be a good host I learned that I was expected to have ample quantities of lube on hand in addition to cock rings, rubbers, poppers, a few good sex toys and maybe some weed and of course I have to be able to stream porn. Doesn’t anyone enjoy sex without porn anymore? I must say I did enjoy learning about the sex toys. Not telling my favorites though. In my previous life before I became a sex host I always believed being a good host meant having some wine, beer, vodka, scotch and maybe some nuts on hand. Usually the preferred drink of my sex guests was gatorade or water. Go figure. If my mom were alive she would have been proud to see what a perfect host I am.
A result of my being OCD and anal was a deep need to have a clean apartment, especially when I had guests. Well at least a clean bedroom and bathroom. I was actually flabbergasted when I had a few guys ask me if I had clean towels or should they bring their own. I could imagine my reaction if I did travel and my host did not have any clean towels for me. I would have had a shit fit and I am not a primma donna by any stretch of the imagination. To my surprise I did have 2 people come to my apartment, (at separate times,) with duffle bags asking if I had a laundry machine. It was probably my fault. Sometimes I wanted sex a little to badly and did not do as good a job as I could have sussing up my guest.
Anyway it is now probably 10, 10:30 and I’m running around trying to make sure the place is in tip top shape. I had a cleaner who would come in once a week and I gave her instructions that when she changed the sheets she should put on 2 bottom sheets so I would have a clean one to sleep on if I was lucky enough to have company. Aaron is a bit OCD or anal like me, thank God. He likes one of our bedrooms for sleep and relaxing and the other for playing and sex.
The valuables are now stowed, the apartment is clean, the supplies are ready and the toys are only an arm’s reach away. The only job left to do is to get myself clean and sparkling. As I shower I go through the evenings events.
After work I met some friends for drinks. Came home around 7, layed down, a little antsy starting playing with my dick, got hard and decided to hook up. It is now 10:30 I have to be up early for work and as usual I start to question myself and ask if it is really worth it. The answer to that question is yes, The next and most important question left is will I bottom tonight and do I really want to douche? I told you I was anal.
Midnight. I’ve been waiting five hours to cum. The asshole said he’d be over by 11:00 Should I text him and seem desperate, should I text him and cancel and then he’ll think I’m an asshole or am I then just cutting off my nose to spite my face or should I just try to fucking relax and wait. Leave it to me to over analyse. Well at least I am at home in my bedroom lying down and not sitting at his place waiting for him to get ready. If I want I can just shut my eyes and go to sleep.
For the last 20 Years I had lived in the same building in New York. It was always comforting for me to know that before any visitors were allowed up they had to get past a doorman and a concierge, sometimes showing identification to the staff before they were let up, If any of my guests looked a bit strange they would let me know before they were allowed to leave the lobby and come up. In the rare event that something did happen to me at least the culprit would most likely be caught. Even if I was dead.
There were many funny incidents I remember when I was hosting, One in particular stands out. It seemed I was waiting forever for my friend to arrive. As usual I could not sit still and starting making some chilli. Why I decided to do this so late in the evening is beyond me. Anyway I just finished dicing the chillies when he arrived. I’m sure you all know how it goes, we had a little chit chat as we walked down the long hallway to my bedroom. When we got to the bedroom we started to tear at each other in a frenzy. I was beginning to think all of the waiting was going to be worth it. All of a sudden the guy is screaming what did you do to me. I’m like what the fuck are you talking about. By this time he is running around screaming holding his dick and telling me its on fire. I’m stupefied. I’m like I didn’t do anything to your dick,
All of a sudden it comes back to me. I realize I never washed my hands after dicing the chillies. Indeed his dick was on on fire. I quickly grabbed my phone to google, “what do you do when you touch your dick after getting chillis on it.” The solution pour milk on a paper towel and wrap it around the penis for a few minutes, Lucky I had a little deli in my building as I did not have any milk. I called down and told them to hurry. When the milk arrived I tore open the carton and stuck the guys dick in it. After a few minutes his dick was cooling down and so had both of us. Great way to ruin an evening. Lesson learned,
Getting back to my original premise. In my opinion it is better to host. I am more comfortable and secure in my own home. It is a lot more work but in the long run being comfortable is a forerunner for good sex. It will also make hosting a dinner party seem like a breeze.
