By now I am sure half of Europe along with most of the United States and probably many people in Asia have seen one of my, “Dick Pic’s,”. Mind you it is not that I send them out intentionally to everyone, it is by mistake. One of my worse habits is my lack of patience causing me to hurry through my tasks and fuck up while I am attempting to do too many things at once.
Until 7 years ago I had never sent a dick pic or seen one. Becoming single though and an avid user of Scruff and Grindr I had no choice. It was a learning process that I slowly became quite proficient at. At first I had no idea of what everyone really wanted. Hard or soft, should I be standing or sitting, should my sac and balls be in the pic? Maybe I should be jerking off . If I was jerking off should I have already shot a nice load and had it streaming down my chest?
Next, I thought everyone wants to see how big it is. Instead of a beer or coke can I decided to use the Wall Street Journal as my measuring stick. Being a businessman I preferred to have it lying beside the Wall Street Journal. Also I don’t drink beer or coke out of the can and my dick would probably look miniscule next to a 2 liter bottle of coke. Wait, I can just have my dick hanging out of my pants. Good idea! But if that's the case should I be wearing jeans, nice pants, or just standing having it hanging out of my underwear, oh fuck then I have to decide what kind of underwear to wear.
When I Finally learned the art of dick selfies I quit. I was not about to fuss with what light my dick looked best in, I did, however want to have a selfie or rather a dick selfie for the specific person I was interested in. I actually felt like I had finished a photograph class by the time I was through. It was not easy going back to school or getting back into the dating game.
I want to start by saying I never asked for pics. I always preferred my imagination. Not because I’m this great person who doesn’t care about looks, but because if I did get a look I would find any imperfection and it would turn me off. Having good taste or being fussy is not always a plus.
I wish I could say I saved Scruff, Grindr and sexting just to use at home. but like most people I get bored. I have used them on the subway, on planes, in doctors offices, restaurants meetings and I’m sure anyplace else that has WiFi. Many times it has been fun kind of like having public sex without getting caught. Most the time however as I said before I’m not patient I rush I don’t take my time and then I fuck up.
One time I was sexting in the car and the guy wanted a picture of me playing with me dick. Not wanting to disappoint and having fun I pulled off the road and took some great pics. Excitingly, I downloaded and hit send. In less of a second I realized I sent it to the wrong person, my brother. I called him as fast as I could to ask him not to look but he already had. Lucky for me he has a good sense of humor and told me he was bigger. We have yet to measure.
Recently I was sending one to Aaron and a moment to late discovered it went to our cleaning man. No wonder he got here so early. I always go to quick and fuck up. I sent one to the owner of my favorite cocktail lounges in New York, he probably thought I wanted a better table. Another time I sent to Aaron one at work and one of his co-workers happened to take his phone, Who knows how many people at his office have seen me now,
Despite how often I tell myself to slow down and check I still somehow constantly fuck it up. Even with a normal text. The other day I thought I was texting with our neighbour. He knows both Aaron and I. Anyway in the middle of our conversation he starts asking for pics. I couldn’t believe it as he seemed like a nice guy and he knew we were married, I told him I’d text him later so I could think of what to do. Well I suddenly realized I was texting with a guy in London from 2 years ago who has the same name as our neighbour. Another day I was messaging Aaron with a sexy pic of his I had to tell him he was the greatest. Of course I sent to his brother, Even just now I texted myself notes on what I am writing and sent them to my sister. Stuff I would rather she did not see and I got a quick text back, "?????? what the fuck are you up to? You know, your married."
Suffice to say I miss the telephone. Before marrying Aaron, I missed talking to him, whoever he was., my date, my trick .... I missed getting turned on by his voice. I missed wondering what he looked like. I missed hearing him tell me what he wanted to do with me. I missed the banter. I missed the flirting. I missed asking is John there and knowing I am talking to the right John. Not messaging the wrong person person for 5 minutes before I know it is mistake. I missed my imagination working overtime. I missed someone saying I have to go, talk later. Not someone just disappearing while I am waiting for a response. I know texting and sexting has its purposes but I do miss the art of talking, the art of seduction, the art of flirting.
I am not going to say sexting is not fun, it is. I do wish though that we could all take a few steps back though and remember what we used texting for when it started to become popular about 15 years ago. It was great when you were running late, just text. You forgot to pick something up the cleaning, just text whoever. You wanted to check if a friend was feeling better, just text.
I miss the art of talking on the phone. Most of us have become so busy trying to multitask that we do not have the patience to listen to someone or even have a conversation on the phone I really love just lying in bed and talking to a friend on the phone and really talking. How many of us ever stop what we are doing to listen to someone especially when we are texting. We are most likely watching TV, surfing our phones, listening to Tik Tok or whatever. Conversations today are text messages. I think anybody who grew up when I did will agree that the ability to have a conversation is disappearing.
When my phone rings these days I sometimes jump I am so surprised and along with so many other people automatically assume it is something bad. Years ago I can remember being so happy when the phone rang, wondering who it was. Sometimes I was lonely and would be glad to have a friend to talk to for an hour. Maybe it would give me a excuse to stop some work I was doing and simply relax and enjoy some laughs with an old friend.
I haven’t seen a dick pic yet that turned me on as much as my own imagination. I hope we don't lose our ability to imagine, to dream, to converse. Life should not be lived by our fingers.