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How Do You Know Mr Right?

When I asked Aaron to marry me it was not something I thought about for a long time. As a matter of fact one day I just knew that I would never love or care about anyone the way I felt about him and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Isn’t that why you get married?

Growing up I never thought I would want to get married. I did not have very good role models as to what a loving marriage was. Actually living in my house was similar to living in a war zone. A few times we even had to call the cavalry in to keep my parents from killing each other. When I reached adulthood I probably had 3 or 4 serious relationships but I knew in the back of my mind that they would never last or make me happy. From just about day one with Aaron I knew something was different.

Age gap relationship couple, Mike and Aaron comfy in bed.

I am not quite sure what got me started thinking about marriage but the other day I googled it. I found it interesting that in all the definitions I saw love was never mentioned. I saw the words contract, obligation, union, commitment, rights. These are things Aaron and I never thought about when we got married. We just knew we wanted to be with each other forever, If someone asked me to define marriage I still would not be able to give a clear and concise answer. I could however tell them what it like for us.

It is being in a relationship with someone and not having a word to describe it because it is so good. It is something you could have never dreamed about because you didn’t know something that good could exist. Not only is Aaron my husband, my best friend, he is my everything.

In all seriousness though it is so weird, sometimes we will be in bed and I will turn to Aaron and say I can’t believe we are married. I still have this idea that married people cannot be as happy as we are. I don’t know what I expected marriage to be, but I never expected it to be as good as it is.

I usually get up about 5:30 AM and do some work and then at 6:40 I get back into bed with Aaron for 5 minutes before his alarm goes off. This is the favorite part of my day. Sometimes I just sit and stare at him, Often I can feel my heart start to race because I a so excited just to be by his side, not able to believe my luck.

Mike and Aaron having a snooze.

Other times I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut and just keep telling him how much I love him, how wonderful he is, how handsome and sexy he is. Sometimes I really am that babbling brook. I honestly feel like I have no control over what comes out of my mouth,. In past relationships I told people I loved them but never even thought the thoughts that I tell Aaron all of the time without one bit of embarrassment . While this is going on there is one part of Aaron that just wants me to shut up and another part that I am sure is just eating it all up.

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend who said, “ You know it is so nice, in almost every relationship one person is always more in love with the other but you guys are just crazy in love with each other, it’s equal.” She was right and it is a wonderful feeling that I have never doubted Aaron’s love or devotion to me or that I might love him more or too much. I have many friends who have been together for years but I don’t think I have ever seen two people who share the certain something we have that makes our love so special. Of course, I am biased.

What makes it so special? I wish I knew so I could make sure it always stays that way. Maybe it's because neither one of us ever expected to get hitched. Maybe it is because we have that much more in common and enjoy so many of the same things. Maybe we just love depending on each other or maybe we just love to laugh and that gets us through everything.

We keep telling each other that we should make some friends. Somehow we never get around to it but we have never tired of each other's company. In our defence though it has been a bit hard to do during Covid. We do have our Blog which is kind of like our baby at the moment. I have said to Aaron that we are going to be one of those couples that people point at and say don’t they ever spend any time apart.

Mike and aaron having a bit of fun.

I do not think we are a codependent. We do however love doing just about everything together. Even if it as simple as walking to the store for a snack, getting groceries, a haircut, hiking, whatever. The best thing about the two of us being outside together is that Aaron is always watching out for me. My head is usually in the clouds not looking at traffic, which I still consider going in the wrong direction after living in the states for so long. When we are at home we are usually in the same room, doing different things a lot of times but still feeling the company of the other. We are a team.

Mike and aaron enjoying Dublin.

Sex, like the rest of our relationship keeps getting better and better. The more honest and confident we become with each other the better the sex gets. I always enjoyed sex but never really talked about it with my partners. As we continue to reveal ourselves to each other we have had new wishes and desires to act on. The trust we have for each other has been very liberating. I have learned that I can say anything without fear of being judged.

Mike and Aaron having a bit of role play.

Obviously it is not always smooth sailing. We have had arguments, disagreements or whatever you choose to call them. I don’t think they have ever been over anything big. Before we moved into our apartment we had never lived together except for the three months I was here visiting Aaron when he lived with a flatmate. Before that we had barely been in the same country together. When we finally moved and it was just the two of us there was a big learning curve We discovered if we didn't think in terms of right and wrong but rather what the other person's needs or wishes were, most of the problems disappeared.

When I came here 2 years we knew without a doubt that we had immense love for each other. Most of us know that this is not always enough. Love requires a lot of hard work at times. I am not stupid and realize that most people who get married feel the same way we do that they will be together forever and yet it doesn’t workout for them. I don’t know how I know, but I do know we will always be together.

As horrible as the last two years have been to so many people due to Covid, Aaron and I have been very lucky. During this time we have had the opportunity to talk and learn so much about ourselves and us as a couple. I really do consider myself the luckiest man in the world and I would venture to say Aaron thinks he is too.

I always used to wonder how you knew if he or she were the,”right one.” I realize now if you have to wonder they aren’t. Every day I honestly feel like I have won the lottery. That is what our marriage is like.


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