People love to comment on older-younger relationships. It is not unexpected as people love to talk about things they have never experienced or look different from what they normally see. I have been friends with plenty of guys who go out with younger guys and girls and we oddly enough have never discussed why we are attracted to them. We have made a few jokes but that is as far as it goes. I cannot remember if I ever thought anything when I would pass an older-younger couple on the street, but once I was in an older-younger relationship I never gave it any thought.
I was never out there looking for younger, I actually never thought in a million years I would be with someone so much younger than myself. It just happened. If anyone had ever asked me if I wanted to go out with someone so much younger, my response would have been, no, are you crazy? It is something that just happens though when younger men meet me they are so taken by my winning personality and good looks, there's nothing I can do. I am joking, by the way. In my previous relationship my partner was only a few years younger. than myself.
When Aaron and I first texted I was a bit surprised that he could be interested in someone so much older. Yet that’s what makes the world go round. Different strokes for different folks. I had never had a specific type so it was a bit strange to be meeting someone with such specific tastes. Thinking back it is probably a bit easier to have a specific type as it limits how many people you can be attracted to.
If I were to guess I would say older would be attracted to a younger persons youth. Subliminally from an early age we are taught to equate beauty with youth. Physically I believe Aaron has it all a great face, beautiful eyes, a great body and much more. He is emotionally beautiful, smart and has a great sense of humor. One of his traits I am most attracted to though is his sense of play. I am actually surprised when I think of how old we are as so much of the time we are acting just like kids.
Put me in a room of grownups and I’ll be bored stiff out of my brain. I even hate the word and almost every thought that goes with it. The same with adult, another horrible word. So much of our lives we were told to grow up and act our age, whatever age that might be. I am still not sure what it means but I do know the older I get, the idea of acting my age seems so boring.
It seems that at such a young age most of us are taught to shut away all our playfulness and creativity and sense of fun. Along the way we lose our spontaneity and a I believe somewhere along the line our love of life or we just become jaded. We stop marveling at everything around us and or become immune to it. In grade school we’re getting ready for high school, in high school we’re taking advanced placement courses so we’re ready for college and in college were doing internships so we’re ready for work or graduate school and than what? It’s off to join the real world. By that time I knew I’d already had enough of the real world. Add growing up gay to the equation and the problems I had with being gay, I knew I wanted to enjoy life as much as I could. As far as I am concerned I have earned the right to be as young as I want, play as much as I want and have as good a time as I want. The only person I have to answer to is Aaron.
Since my forties I have always loved being around young people. I love to listen to them, their views of the world, life, music, art, film, books, politics and what you can learn from them. Thinking back on it I don’t know why I ever looked to date people closer to my age. In my little mind at the time I just did as I thought you were supposed to, without ever really thinking about it. They say age is only a state of mind. I find it to be true. Just the way they say someone is young at heart or a wise old soul. I love the fact that Aaron will drag me out dancing, to a club, drinking. I never want to be just an old fart.
When I think of my good friends I think one of the common denominators among us is that we are all young at heart and always ready for a good time, fun and an adventure, whatever. When were together all sense of decorum goes out the window and I love that. Our times are filled with so much laughter.
Life in general can be difficult at times. For me having a relationship with someone, (Aaron,) who appreciates fun, loves to laugh and have a good time makes everything easier. It also helps to be able to work out problems and disagreements with humor. I can have a tendency to get stressed when problems arise with work or other areas of my life and having Aaron’s playful side trying to make things easier for me means the world to me.
I never really questioned Aarons attraction to older. I did wonder at first why he wouldn’t rather have a youthful hard body to hold on to with the head and heart of a older man, instead of a wise old man who’s starting to sag. However as I have said before to each his own and I’ll just consider myself lucky in the meantime.